Confusing

Dec.6. 2010




"See and understand how the world works, and find what to do for it." That was my expectation before leaving my country. But actual fact is that the mystery of world got much more complicated than before.



The tangled thread of the world, which many of us are trying to untie, is actually wanted by other people, and an individual thread in the tangled thread needs to be untied first... I can't write a concrete explanation, but things in the world are complicated anyway. Only a thing I understood is that guys, who selfimportantly explain how the world goes on the TV, in article and class room, are the ones who understand nothing.



"I got confused again..."



That's what I have been continuously saying in this travel.



I went to an orphanage in Bishkek, and this place was where I got "I got confused again" too. As I wrote, my experience to visit an orphanage in Tibet was wonderful. Yet, kids in Bishkek were a little bit different. "I wanna see my mom", "I wanna be run away from here", "I want violence to go away from my life",,,they wrote things we don't want to listen to but we should listen to on their origami as their dreams. By the way, kids at primary schools in Bishkek, their dreams were "Mercedes", "Supernatural power", "Computer".

It's always easy to be sorry for such unlucky people like the kids at orphanage, but I would like to resolve such issues as a player rather than as a watcher. I still haven't figured out why kids in Tibet and Bishkek are so different, what I can do for the fact, whether they are really happy with my help, whether things they feel happy are real happiness for them, maybe they are already happier than me...



It's not only about the kids at orphanage, but 100 "I got confused" comes up whenever I got a fact.


I got confused, and I don't know...


I don't know how to conclude my writing today too...


I hope I will find something initiate me.


Go for it!! Chuji,